Abusing Online Chat Customer Support 1.2

Some Random Autoparts Store

[Morgan] Happy Holidays. Thank you for contacting AutoAnything. My name is Morgan.
[Morgan] How may I help you?

[Visitor] Yeah I got to type real slow
[Visitor] good thing i had my phone in pocket

[Morgan] Ok, how may I help you today?

[Visitor] stuck under my truck
[Visitor] how do you take off the exhaust manifold

[Visitor] i have a pen, my glasses, my phone, my keys, a bottle opener on it, and my pants

[Morgan] It's specific to your truck. I'm sorry, I won't be able to help you with that sort of question.

[Visitor] I'm thinkin my bottle opener will do the trick somehow

[Morgan] I'm sorry, I won't be able to help you with this.

[Visitor] come on man you're like my only hope here
[Visitor] my arm is caught around it and its freaking cold
[Visitor] how do I get it off?

[Morgan] You'll need a complete diagram of your vehicle's exhaust system. It's just not something I'm equipped to assist you with. I'm sorry, I don't know.

[Visitor] well okay, it's a 2006 dodge ram megacab
[Visitor] you pull up the specs
[Visitor] damn I'm getting soot in my mouth
[Visitor] it tastes like crap

[Morgan] I'm really sorry, but I'm not going to be able to help you with this. I highly recommend you call a tow.

[Visitor] oh god
[Visitor] I think i forgot to put on the emergency brake
[Visitor] i can feel myself getting dragged a little
[Visitor] do you think I can just yank it off?

[Morgan] I have no idea. If you don't have any questions about AutoAnything parts, I'm going to need to end this chat.

[Visitor] ok
[Visitor] um
[Visitor] how much is a new exhaust manifold?
[Visitor] I'm going to break this one into a hundred pieces

[Morgan] I'll need the engine size of your ram.

[Visitor] it's a v8

[Morgan] Hold on a sec, let me see what I have.

[Visitor] god its cold
[Visitor] the truck just pulled me across the parking lot
[Visitor] dammit
[Visitor] I didn't even get to eat my chicken sandwich

[Morgan] I'm sorry, I don't have anything like that for your ram.

[Visitor] gosh could you send a guy over here with a crobar or something? I can pay you as much as it costs. And have him bring me some hot coffee and maybe another chicken sandwich. this is really starting to hurt and I'm hungry

[Morgan] I'm sorry, we're internet-only. Please, go call a tow truck -- there is nothing I can do for you from here. Thank you for shopping with AutoAnything and have a Happy Holiday