Eat More Bananas

Where is it? Where the fuck is it? Okay. Okay. I need to chill. I probably just put it someplace. Think. When did you have it last? Fuck. You have no idea, do you.

Why am I opening this drawer again? I’ve already looked in here thirty-seven times. It wouldn’t even fit in here! Why on earth am I still digging through all this junk when I know there is no way it could be in here?

The cats? No... I guess they probably wouldn’t mess with it. They just play with those balls, and the laser. And that wire thing. And anyway they mostly just lay around. Fatasses.

Wait. Wait, I took a bunch of stuff to the storage space. Yeah. When was that? Tuesday? That was, um, two days ago. No wait. Today is Friday. Three days ago. I guess I might have accidentally stuck it in with some of that stuff. Aw, man. I don’t want to go all the way down there. Shit. I guess I’d better at least look. What a nightmare.

Of course. Of course it’s not here, because I came all the way down here, and the only time I do that is for NO REASON. God damn it. I spend half my freaking life looking for shit. What a waste of time. I must be retarded in a certain way. I must have something. Or maybe I need to eat more bananas. Bananas always make me feel smart. I bet they’d help me remember shit.

You know what I bet? I bet she put it someplace. She’s always moving my shit around. What the fuck? I bet she got home and put all my shit in all these random fucking places that-

No. No. It’s not her. It’s you. YOU. Don’t go blaming. Sure, it’s happened once or twice, but mostly you just throw your shit wherever. Maybe you should pay attention to stuff. Get your head out of the clouds, or out of your ass, or just wake up or something. If anything, she knows where I put it.

Fuck. I can't believe- Wait a minute. Haha! FINALLY, god damnit! Jesus. Alright. How much time did I waste with that shit? I don't even want to know. Fuck.

Cool. Alright, where are my keys, I gotta get out of here.

Big Day

I don't feel like writing something clever right now, so I think I'll just catalogue my fun day.

Last night had a date night with Anna. Went to a Turkish place called Cousins, overtipped the pseudo bitchy waitress, then went to see King of Kong. It was awesome.
Went home. Wrote in my blog after Anna went to sleep.
Did some other stuff.
Went to sleep.
I woke up at some point.
I jogged around the cemetery next to our apartment. My legs are hurting a lot these days, and I'm not sure why. It could be the weather change, it's bone pain and I broke my leg a few years back.
Took a shower, I think.
I watched Scarface. My sister bought it for me for Christmas one year. She always buys me great presents.
Watched some Scarface extra features.
Made some coffee. Drank some. Reheated leftovers from Cousin's. Ate them.
I worked.
I checked my email fifty times.
Cleaned up the house.
Pet the cats.
I watched some of Ronin. Not a great movie, but it has some interesting stuff. Got to be careful not to watch movies during the day. Total escapism.
I met Anna at the Grocery store. We spent 70 bucks. The grocery store is expensive as fuck.
Made some dinner for us. I had a crabwich, Anna had veggies and fake sausage crumbles.
We watched some of the first episode of Deadwood season three. Bullock beat the crap out of somebody again.
We convinced ourselves that Mr. Chillynose was missing and spent ten minutes looking for the fat bastard. Found him stuck behind Anna's drafting table. When I tried to dig him out I knocked our Cylon off the bookshelf and it smashed into what seemed like a million pieces, but after messing with it for awhile it's not so bad. Be good as new soon enough.
We rode our bikes up to the Metro and met Matt for the Midlake show. He bought us the tickets as a wedding gift. The show was perfect.
Walked Anna back to Lawrence and went to Matt's to play chess. Close game, but he won in the end. I got to excited about a pawn march.
Came home, checked all the emaily type stuff again.
Played a Midlake song I'm into.
Logged onto blogger.
Started this blog.
Finished this blog.

Surf and Turf

I wasn't really sure what this clever rhyme signified until this past week, which I spent with my wife on a honeymoon on an all inclusive resort in Mexico. Every meal was a "free" gourmet affair, which lead us to all sorts of interesting palate experimentation, and me to a newfound love affair with meat. I don't usually eat that much meat, and actually I was a vegetarian for quite a while, but hey, I was in Mexico. Mmmmeat. Yum Yum Yum. Surf and Turf.

Actually, the ultra fancy long-pants-only French/Mexican fusion place we ate at most of the time called it "From the Coast to the Ranch," but at one point one of the waiters said to me, "The surf and the turf again for you my friend?" and I put two and two together pretty quickly. Sssteak. I wish I was eating some right now. And they cut and twisted all the shrimps together in this sort of mobius strip arrangement that was kind of mind boggling, but it made for a nice and hearty gordian knot to chomp through.

Not much of a dessert guy, either, but every time we went there they brought out these delicate pastry creations, all on a big tray for us to select one. At one point I found myself eating hazelnut mousse with a chocolate spoon out of a chocolate bowl shaped like a headless fat man wearing a tuxedo. When I shared this observation with my wife, she said "Yeah, I heard you say 'I ate my spoon,' and then you just stopped talking."

And man, room service was totally included, too. Nachos. In. Bed.

Back in Chicago now. I had peanut butter on a spoon for lunch today.

Mars

The latest thing to blow my mind is this photo book of Mars I found at the library. It's brand new, so far as I could tell. It's this huge coffee table book full of glossy full color photos of Martian landscapes taken by the most recent rover.

This is the kind of thing that makes me feel like it's time to reevaluate the human condition. For the first time in history we can go to a store and leaf through a book filled with photos from another planet! I mean, there have been pictures of Mars and other planets, including some pretty breathtaking ones of Earth, taken by satellites for years. But these are pictures taken on the surface, of rusty rocks and rolling martian dunes, and close-ups of odd geological formations printed in false color for mineral analysis that look so familiar and alien at the same time that it invokes this odd sense of vertigo. The most bizarre thing, possibly, and the one that really drives the whole thing home is that there are all these pictures the rover took of its own tracks. You can see where it disembarked from its solar platform and wheeled around exploring the vicinity, zig-zagging treadmarks in the rusty dust that has probably remained undisturbed for billions of years. Those are human footprints in a way, but so much more cold and remote... Maybe it's the knowledge that the conditions there are so hostile that no life could possibly exist that makes it so intriguing. Or maybe its all that space that separates us from there. In any case it hits me in the gut like not many things do.