New Song

"The Ballad of Ted Nougat"

I got arrested
when a young Nikki Sixx
Gave me a solit'ry Twix

and I fed it to an ambling unicorn.

But Nikko McBrain
Came and declared me insane

And I ran off to go live on the Matterhorn.

Who should find me
But little Rikki Rockett
With rolos in his pockets
He'd asked the barbegazi to play us

Good thing that Don Dokken
Chose that moment to walk in
He flew me all the way to the Himalayas

And if one day you ask me
what the hell was I doing
All of that time

And I say that I was flying in my magic helicopter,
Don't call your favorite doctor,
She would only tell you
It is definitely healthy

Given the circumstance
To shoot skittles at leprechauns

To see the little keeblers dance.

Rumors were spreading
That Sebastian Bach
Fed a mouthful Pop Rocks
To a yeti just to keep me in hiding.

But then somehow Dee Snider
Had a secret insider

And I ran off to find Mount Guiting-Guiting.

And if one day you ask me
what the hell was I doing
All of that time

And I say that I was flying in my magic helicopter,
Don't call your favorite doctor,
She would only tell you
It is definitely healthy

Given the circumstance
To shoot skittles at leprechauns

To see the little keeblers dance.