Today I threw a cookie into the Chicago river. It was an oatmeal raisin cookie, I think, but I had a whole pocket full of them so I'm not sure. I ate the rest.
But when I threw it in a seagull swooped down on it from nowhere and snatched it out of the water, and then flew it over to locations unknown. It's so funny that seagulls eat cookies, I think. People don't eat seagull food, whatever that is. We don't even eat seagulls. At least, I don't.
The cookies came from Subway, but I didn't buy them. Someone at my school bought a whole bunch of sandwiches and gave them to us for free. The cookies came with the package. I think Subway is sick, but I ate it anyway. I used to work there, and even though it was clean and well organized and so on, it was still artificial and prefab and nasty, all except for the lettuce. You can't really fuck up lettuce.
In which I shamelessly abuse the internet.
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