Piece 2.1

"The Misters Butt"

Mister Butt, Mister Butt. Welcome. Good to finally meet the Butts. Or should I say, the Misters Butt.

If someone had told me upon waking this morning "Sir, today you are going to meet the brothers Butt," I would have simply discarded that statement as fanciful monkeyshining. But here you are! Here you are, and here I am in the presence of the the Misters Butt.

Please, sit. Would the Butts care for a refreshment? Perhaps some burritos supreme from the freezer? I am told they are quite delicious. No? No? How about a drink, then. Surely the Misters Butt could not refuse gins and tonic...Fine, fine. Two gins and tonic, coming right up, one each for the Butts.

Thank you dear, yes, one each please. And tell your mother thank you from myself and the Misters Butt. No, no, just water for me. My wilder days are behind me, I'm afraid. We Justices of the Peace had our fun when we were upholding the law alongside the likes of you Butts...ah, those halcyon days, fresh out of Harvard, eager to- Ah, well, you must not let an old man meander through creaky memories. But tell me, when your father, God rest his soul, started Butt, Butt and Butt, had you any idea the family Butt would grow to be so influential? Already, you must know, there is talk of putting a Butt on the ballott. Well, we can't have a joint presidency, of course! But one Butt in the whitehouse is better than no Butts at all!