Hey, have you guys ever heard of Hugo Chavez? He's the president of Venezuela?
Chavez won his presidency in a free election in 1998 with 60% of the vote. The working people like him because he is trying to put control over more of the country's wealth back into the hands of the people. The American government supported a failed coup against him in 2002, right after he was elected, and now there is a propaganda campaign against him in the american media.
I myself was wondering about what kind of a leader he has turned out to be. I'm still not sure he was totally genuine, but he seems to inspire strong, real emotions resembling love in the venezuelan people, something I can't possibly imagine any other leader in the world, with the exception of Nelson Mandela, of course, doing. I talked to my friend Ingrid, who is from Colombia, about him. Her parents are in Venezuela now. I'd just seen a short news bit on him on the BBC News, (channel 26 at 10pm every day of the week, for you Chicago people) that said he is trying to keep foreign investors out of the country as much as possible. He believes that this is the new way powerful countries conquer other, smaller ones: By getting their greedy fingers in control of their industries and fucking up the country's economy, polarizing the classes and making them dependent on the big guys. He is 100% right on the money, so to speak. By foreign investors and businessmen, he is of course referring to rich American people- they who acquire new territory in the same way they run a Kentucky Fried Chicken Franchise. I can't wait until countries start getting renamed after all our dopey corporations. Then I will at last be able to root for apocalypse conscience-free. Anyway, I asked Ingrid about this kind of idealism, and she expressed a dislike for Chavez. She thinks that the people in Venezuela don't have the capabilitity for taking control of and running their own industries. I guess we'll see.
Here is this other guy's opinion on Chavez, in case anyone else is wondering if he's really a good leader. I want so hard to believe that he is.
Here is another person in whom I would love to have faith: Barak Obama. Read his speech transcript from the democratic national convention on my friend Jesse's Blog!
In which I shamelessly abuse the internet.
Thursday, July 29, 2004
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Hoofing It
I've been riding my bike to work everyday lately because I just got the thing fixed, but before that I was walking home in order to try to save a little bit of cash from the CTA. They just raised the fare again, so now five bucks can only get you 2 rides.
I was walking on the bike path along the lake. It takes about two hours, give or take. I have the odd ability to read and walk at the same time, something that is pretty much essential when you are trying to ignore all the energetic yuppies playing their after work volleyball game or talking on their cell phones whilst rollerblading. Scoot scoot scoot. From a distance there are hundreds of volleyballs popping over the artificial horizon line the web of nets create, and as you walk by the games the popcorn metaphor that comes to mind is reinforced by the popping sound made by the perpetual clapping coming from one game or another when the ball falls out of play. I gave myself a bit of a giggle when I imagined all the volleyballs suddenly turning to solid stone in mid air, cutting the projected arc short as gravity yanked them all straight to the ground. I could hear the cries of surprise and pain as this or that well toned, kenneth-cole-sunglassed day trader made a desperate dive to save the ball for the team.
On one of these walks home, at one of the sailboat piers, I saw fish in the lake for the first time like ever. The sky was purple and filled with thick, solid clouds because it was about to rain, so I was trying to walk kind of fast, but I couldn't keep myself from standing there and staring into the water at them. They were HUGE. I have no idea what kind of fish. Maybe goldfish, because one of them was the color of rust. They were hanging out about three feet below a scummy island of trash that had collected in the corner of one of the docks. There were wine bottles, empty bags of chips, beer cans, and thousands of cigarrette butts bobbing in the lazy waves, left in the water by the seasons upper echelon enjoying the summer evenings in their boats safely at dock. As I watched a mallard even waded through the muck, testing out little pieces of unidentifiable human castoff for edibility. I've lived in Chicago for 7 years and the first time I see fish in the lake is under a floating island of garbage. Isn't that awesome?
I'm on my bike now so I can't really read while I commute anymore, whichi is kind of a bummer. So far this summer I read Hell's Angels, by Hunter Thompson, Norwegian Wood, by Haruki Murakami, and The Bell Jar, by Sylvia Plath. Suicide was a major theme in the last two books. Hm. And Sylvia Plath actually comitted suicide, like, a month before that book was published. It's sad.
But I do get to listen to music while I ride. I secure the headphones over my face with the strap of my helmet, so it looks like I'm wearing a football helmet. Lots of people smile at me when I ride by them, except for when I also where my secret agent rear-view-mirror sunglasses and a dust mask, too.
But I'm getting sick of my music. I need some more. Any suggestions? I like all kinds of stuff.
But I still miss walking a little... Owell. There are good things and bad things for everything.
I was walking on the bike path along the lake. It takes about two hours, give or take. I have the odd ability to read and walk at the same time, something that is pretty much essential when you are trying to ignore all the energetic yuppies playing their after work volleyball game or talking on their cell phones whilst rollerblading. Scoot scoot scoot. From a distance there are hundreds of volleyballs popping over the artificial horizon line the web of nets create, and as you walk by the games the popcorn metaphor that comes to mind is reinforced by the popping sound made by the perpetual clapping coming from one game or another when the ball falls out of play. I gave myself a bit of a giggle when I imagined all the volleyballs suddenly turning to solid stone in mid air, cutting the projected arc short as gravity yanked them all straight to the ground. I could hear the cries of surprise and pain as this or that well toned, kenneth-cole-sunglassed day trader made a desperate dive to save the ball for the team.
On one of these walks home, at one of the sailboat piers, I saw fish in the lake for the first time like ever. The sky was purple and filled with thick, solid clouds because it was about to rain, so I was trying to walk kind of fast, but I couldn't keep myself from standing there and staring into the water at them. They were HUGE. I have no idea what kind of fish. Maybe goldfish, because one of them was the color of rust. They were hanging out about three feet below a scummy island of trash that had collected in the corner of one of the docks. There were wine bottles, empty bags of chips, beer cans, and thousands of cigarrette butts bobbing in the lazy waves, left in the water by the seasons upper echelon enjoying the summer evenings in their boats safely at dock. As I watched a mallard even waded through the muck, testing out little pieces of unidentifiable human castoff for edibility. I've lived in Chicago for 7 years and the first time I see fish in the lake is under a floating island of garbage. Isn't that awesome?
I'm on my bike now so I can't really read while I commute anymore, whichi is kind of a bummer. So far this summer I read Hell's Angels, by Hunter Thompson, Norwegian Wood, by Haruki Murakami, and The Bell Jar, by Sylvia Plath. Suicide was a major theme in the last two books. Hm. And Sylvia Plath actually comitted suicide, like, a month before that book was published. It's sad.
But I do get to listen to music while I ride. I secure the headphones over my face with the strap of my helmet, so it looks like I'm wearing a football helmet. Lots of people smile at me when I ride by them, except for when I also where my secret agent rear-view-mirror sunglasses and a dust mask, too.
But I'm getting sick of my music. I need some more. Any suggestions? I like all kinds of stuff.
But I still miss walking a little... Owell. There are good things and bad things for everything.
Monday, July 19, 2004
I took the metra train in from the suburbs today because I went out to visit the P's and I was too lazy to go home last night. It filled up pretty quick but nobody wanted to sit next to me, and the conductor didn't ask me for a ticket. It was kind of like being invisible, which is what I usually want to be when I have to take a train full of crazy commuters and wailing babies. Actually, usually I wish I were in another dimension where everything is covered in soft grass and nobody says stupid, moronic things like "That girl's ass was sweet!" or "Who's a baby? Who's the baby boy? Who's the baby boy?" So, anyway, that saved me five bucks, and I figure that's the universe's way of telling me that I'm going to need five bucks at some point in the near future, which means I have to carry it around with me and not spend it, which is going to be pretty difficult considering I'm practically flat broke.
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
MMMMMMMMeat!
MMMMMMMMMMMMMeat!
My mom came into town a couple of weeks ago and my gramma and grampa took us all out to a steakhouse for dinner. What an american dream, the steakhouse is. I'm not a vegetarian- I was for a few years, but I fell off the wagon on a road trip to Florida when I ran out of money and was more or less obliged to eat the leftovers of my friends' cheeseburgers. But I don't really eat meat unless the opportunity presents itself, maybe because it's kind of expensive and I've gotten into the habit of not buying it when I go to the grocery store, I guess... But I still can't imagine making sure to include it in every meal, even though my parents always did while I was growing up. So I sometimes forget how a great deal of the rest of the country just doesn't consider a meal complete without a major helping of meat to round out the plate. But man, a steakhouse! I ordered a "rack of lamb" figuring, hey, I like gyros. Everyone else got a steak except for my annoying aunt Nicole who is three years older than me and is constantly whining. She got chicken, which she sent back to the kitchen after asking everybody at the table if it "looked pink to you?" When the food came I felt like a viking feasting after a successful pillage: There was so much meat on the table that its surface seemed to be made of glistening, half charred flesh, and we were all sawing away deeper and deeper into it with absolute confidence that more was on the way.
Thursday, June 10, 2004
I Can't Believe It
I can't remember why, but I once had this girlfriend and she and her two roommates liked to buy these humungous, industrial sized garbage bags. They were these big, black monsters that could fit like six bodies inside easy. They'd stuff the thing in their little blue garbage can. When the garbage was spilling out all over their kitchen floor they would pull it out- only, the thing was so huge it would only be like a quarter full. So guess what they would do? THEY LEFT IT THERE, sitting in the KITCHEN, filling it up with garbage ALL WEEK until it was full. And when it was, when it was so full of garbage that they could barely wrap a twistie around it, IT WAS TOO HEAVY FOR THEM TO TAKE OUT! Ha Ha Ha! So long, Baby!
I can't remember why, but I once had this girlfriend and she and her two roommates liked to buy these humungous, industrial sized garbage bags. They were these big, black monsters that could fit like six bodies inside easy. They'd stuff the thing in their little blue garbage can. When the garbage was spilling out all over their kitchen floor they would pull it out- only, the thing was so huge it would only be like a quarter full. So guess what they would do? THEY LEFT IT THERE, sitting in the KITCHEN, filling it up with garbage ALL WEEK until it was full. And when it was, when it was so full of garbage that they could barely wrap a twistie around it, IT WAS TOO HEAVY FOR THEM TO TAKE OUT! Ha Ha Ha! So long, Baby!
On Strike
All the garbage men in Chicago went on strike, so guess what Chicago did?
They dumped all the garbage into a baseball field! SORRY, baseball fans!
I'm not much of a baseball fan myself, but my uncle is, and he was like "Yeah, and they dumped in the White Sox field, right where it belongs." He said that because he likes the Cubs, which is this other baseball team in Chicago. Don't ask me why people would hate a whole team of baseball players just because they play on the opposite side of town. The only difference I can really see between the two is that the Cubs fans are all annoying and wear blue and think it's such a big DEAL that they are on their way to go and watch baseball, and White Sox fans just seem like regular city people who like baseball and just want to have a nice time. But all the fancy people like the Cubs, I guess because they think they look fancier in blue, so they dumped a whole buch of garbage in the White Sox's baseball field, which used to be named after these people called the Comiskeys, but now it's named after some dopey corporation.
See?
Play ball!
All the garbage men in Chicago went on strike, so guess what Chicago did?
They dumped all the garbage into a baseball field! SORRY, baseball fans!
I'm not much of a baseball fan myself, but my uncle is, and he was like "Yeah, and they dumped in the White Sox field, right where it belongs." He said that because he likes the Cubs, which is this other baseball team in Chicago. Don't ask me why people would hate a whole team of baseball players just because they play on the opposite side of town. The only difference I can really see between the two is that the Cubs fans are all annoying and wear blue and think it's such a big DEAL that they are on their way to go and watch baseball, and White Sox fans just seem like regular city people who like baseball and just want to have a nice time. But all the fancy people like the Cubs, I guess because they think they look fancier in blue, so they dumped a whole buch of garbage in the White Sox's baseball field, which used to be named after these people called the Comiskeys, but now it's named after some dopey corporation.
See?
Play ball!
Fraggle Rock
What is wrong with people who make T.V. shows, man?
There was this show I used to like alot when I was a kid called "Fraggle Rock." It was about a whole bunch of little puppets with punk hairdos that lived underground. Whenever they needed advice about something they went up to the surface world to visit the "Trash Heap," which was this humungous mound of garbage wearing horn-rimmed glasses.
See?
If that isn't evidence that our children are being corrupted, NOTHING IS! I wish I was a little kid again and that show was still on so I could scream at the T.V. "GARBAGE CAN'T GIVE YOU ADVICE BECAUSE GARBAGE IS DISGUSTING AND IF YOU FOLLOW IT, YOU RETARDED FRAGGLES, THEN YOU ARE THE STUPIDEST PUPPETS EVER!"
What is wrong with people who make T.V. shows, man?
There was this show I used to like alot when I was a kid called "Fraggle Rock." It was about a whole bunch of little puppets with punk hairdos that lived underground. Whenever they needed advice about something they went up to the surface world to visit the "Trash Heap," which was this humungous mound of garbage wearing horn-rimmed glasses.
See?
If that isn't evidence that our children are being corrupted, NOTHING IS! I wish I was a little kid again and that show was still on so I could scream at the T.V. "GARBAGE CAN'T GIVE YOU ADVICE BECAUSE GARBAGE IS DISGUSTING AND IF YOU FOLLOW IT, YOU RETARDED FRAGGLES, THEN YOU ARE THE STUPIDEST PUPPETS EVER!"
Monday, May 10, 2004
Here are five things you can do to someone who tosses cigarette butts on the beach as if just because its got sand it were a big ash tray:
1: Fart on a sandwich and then give it to them.
2: Wipe your butt with their jacket.
3: Shave their cat, or if they have a dog dye its hair black but never admit it and say their dog ran away and this is a new dog.
4: Fart on their pillow.
5: Wait until they are sleeping and then tell a doctor they have gangrene on their toes so he will surgically remove all of them.
1: Fart on a sandwich and then give it to them.
2: Wipe your butt with their jacket.
3: Shave their cat, or if they have a dog dye its hair black but never admit it and say their dog ran away and this is a new dog.
4: Fart on their pillow.
5: Wait until they are sleeping and then tell a doctor they have gangrene on their toes so he will surgically remove all of them.
Monday, May 03, 2004
I Had A Dream
I'm not a religious dude, but if I was I would be like "WHY GOD, WHY DO YOU HATE ME? WHY DID YOU MAKE ME HAVE A DREAM THAT I WAS TRAPPED UNDER A HUGE VOLCANO OF ROTTEN, STINKING, SHITTY GARBAGE? WHY, WHY, WHY DID YOU MAKE THE VOLCANO ERUPT, SENDING ME AND MILLIONS OF TONS OF GARBAGE INTO THE ATMOSPHERE, SO THAT WHEN I FINALLY LANDED ALL I COULD SEE FROM ONE HORIZON TO ANOTHER WAS GARBAGE, AND EVEN THE AIR THAT I BREATHED CONTAINED MICROSCOPIC PILES OF GARBAGE? I HATE YOU, GOD! YOU TOTALLY SUCK ASS!"
I'm not a religious dude, but if I was I would be like "WHY GOD, WHY DO YOU HATE ME? WHY DID YOU MAKE ME HAVE A DREAM THAT I WAS TRAPPED UNDER A HUGE VOLCANO OF ROTTEN, STINKING, SHITTY GARBAGE? WHY, WHY, WHY DID YOU MAKE THE VOLCANO ERUPT, SENDING ME AND MILLIONS OF TONS OF GARBAGE INTO THE ATMOSPHERE, SO THAT WHEN I FINALLY LANDED ALL I COULD SEE FROM ONE HORIZON TO ANOTHER WAS GARBAGE, AND EVEN THE AIR THAT I BREATHED CONTAINED MICROSCOPIC PILES OF GARBAGE? I HATE YOU, GOD! YOU TOTALLY SUCK ASS!"
I Just Remembered Something
My dad likes to order pizza sometimes, and when he does his favorite thing is to order a "garbage pizza," which means a pizza with just about everything that is socially acceptable to be on a pizza, like onions and green peppers and black olives and pepperoni and blah blah blah. When I was a kid this didn't bother me so much, but now I feel like I just swallowed a whole lake of diarrhea. I can't believe people get away with eating things that are named after garbage. If I had my way something like that would be punishable by a big, fat fist to the jugular.
My dad likes to order pizza sometimes, and when he does his favorite thing is to order a "garbage pizza," which means a pizza with just about everything that is socially acceptable to be on a pizza, like onions and green peppers and black olives and pepperoni and blah blah blah. When I was a kid this didn't bother me so much, but now I feel like I just swallowed a whole lake of diarrhea. I can't believe people get away with eating things that are named after garbage. If I had my way something like that would be punishable by a big, fat fist to the jugular.
Rock Bands
I didn't know this until today, but it turns out there is a band called "Garbage." There was I guess some confusion over what I am trying to talk about here, and some people thought I was ripping on their favorite band or something.
I just want everyone to know that I don't mean any band called "Garbage." I didn't even know there was such a thing. And this isn't some kind of crazy metaphor or anything. I'm really talking about garbage, the kind that you throw away or avoid on the streets.
But I also just wanted to say: What the hell kind of stupid moron would name a rock band after something that sucks so bad? You might as well call yourselves "The Dumbass Retarded Shitfaces Who Are Too Stupid To Realize They Are Big Butt-Hairs," because that's what you must be if you think it's cool to call yourselves "Garbage." You could call yourselves TDRSWATSTRTABBH if that's too much for you to remember, you ass nuggets!
I didn't know this until today, but it turns out there is a band called "Garbage." There was I guess some confusion over what I am trying to talk about here, and some people thought I was ripping on their favorite band or something.
I just want everyone to know that I don't mean any band called "Garbage." I didn't even know there was such a thing. And this isn't some kind of crazy metaphor or anything. I'm really talking about garbage, the kind that you throw away or avoid on the streets.
But I also just wanted to say: What the hell kind of stupid moron would name a rock band after something that sucks so bad? You might as well call yourselves "The Dumbass Retarded Shitfaces Who Are Too Stupid To Realize They Are Big Butt-Hairs," because that's what you must be if you think it's cool to call yourselves "Garbage." You could call yourselves TDRSWATSTRTABBH if that's too much for you to remember, you ass nuggets!
Outer Space
I am SO STEAMED I can't even believe it. I feel like setting fire to my face and screaming until my eyeballs fall out.
There is so much garbage everywhere that there is even garbage in OUTER SPACE! Look!
OUR PLANET IS LIKE A GIGANTIC GARBAGE DUMP! IT'S DISGUSTING!
It's not bad enough that there is garbage in the oceans where we can't even see it without scuba diving, but people keep spitting it into OUTER SPACE, TOO! AAAAAAHHHHH!! If I were and alien and I was looking for a nice planet to visit and I saw earth from outer space I would say, "Hey, let's get the hell out of here man, look at all that garbage! No way we want to even go near that place! What a dump!"
I am SO STEAMED I can't even believe it. I feel like setting fire to my face and screaming until my eyeballs fall out.
There is so much garbage everywhere that there is even garbage in OUTER SPACE! Look!
OUR PLANET IS LIKE A GIGANTIC GARBAGE DUMP! IT'S DISGUSTING!
It's not bad enough that there is garbage in the oceans where we can't even see it without scuba diving, but people keep spitting it into OUTER SPACE, TOO! AAAAAAHHHHH!! If I were and alien and I was looking for a nice planet to visit and I saw earth from outer space I would say, "Hey, let's get the hell out of here man, look at all that garbage! No way we want to even go near that place! What a dump!"
I Heard A Rumor
I heard a rumor the other day that one day we will all be heating our homes with garbage. WHAT??! NO WAY!! NO way am I going to go digging through big piles of trash to keep warm! That makes me want to barf all over myself! I would rather freeze my face off a hundred times than have to depend on garbage for anything!
A better rumor would have been like, "Hey, you know what I heard? I heard that garbage totally sucks." and I would have been like "You bet your ass it does, that rumor is absolutely, 100% true!"
I heard a rumor the other day that one day we will all be heating our homes with garbage. WHAT??! NO WAY!! NO way am I going to go digging through big piles of trash to keep warm! That makes me want to barf all over myself! I would rather freeze my face off a hundred times than have to depend on garbage for anything!
A better rumor would have been like, "Hey, you know what I heard? I heard that garbage totally sucks." and I would have been like "You bet your ass it does, that rumor is absolutely, 100% true!"
Attacked
Today I was attacked by garbage!
My messy neighbors leave garbage in the alley, and it was so windy outside today that empty soda containers and junk mail and cigarette-butts came and swirled all around me while I was reading about black holes in my back yard. What am I going to do, man? garbage is everywhere, and now it is trying to KILL ME, following me around like a fat baby that wants more cookies!
Today I was attacked by garbage!
My messy neighbors leave garbage in the alley, and it was so windy outside today that empty soda containers and junk mail and cigarette-butts came and swirled all around me while I was reading about black holes in my back yard. What am I going to do, man? garbage is everywhere, and now it is trying to KILL ME, following me around like a fat baby that wants more cookies!
Garbage Is Tricky.
Don't be fooled by garbage that doesn't smell like horrible rotten bodies. Garbage isn't always going to be so obvious about how much it sucks so bad. Sometimes a big pile of garbage might even look like it has something in it that you can use, like a mop or a toaster, but stay away from it! If you are a garbage picker then go shoot yourself forty-seven times and never talk to anyone again, because you are a dumb elephant's butthole!
Don't be fooled by garbage that doesn't smell like horrible rotten bodies. Garbage isn't always going to be so obvious about how much it sucks so bad. Sometimes a big pile of garbage might even look like it has something in it that you can use, like a mop or a toaster, but stay away from it! If you are a garbage picker then go shoot yourself forty-seven times and never talk to anyone again, because you are a dumb elephant's butthole!
Garbage Makes Me So Totally Sick Man.
I saw some stupid guy the other day and he said Hey man, what are you talkin about? Don't like garbage then go home! and I said well fuck you, garbage is the worst and I don't have to listen to you if you are going to say mean and dumb things you stupid idiot shitface!
I saw some stupid guy the other day and he said Hey man, what are you talkin about? Don't like garbage then go home! and I said well fuck you, garbage is the worst and I don't have to listen to you if you are going to say mean and dumb things you stupid idiot shitface!
Sometimes Garbage Is Ok.
NO it's not. If you think garbage is ok then you should go away and stop talking. Many people suffer because garbage ruins their lives. I am one of them. Garbage is ruining my life and I hate it. Don't be fooled by people who say garbage is cool. Garbage is not cool, it sucks!
NO it's not. If you think garbage is ok then you should go away and stop talking. Many people suffer because garbage ruins their lives. I am one of them. Garbage is ruining my life and I hate it. Don't be fooled by people who say garbage is cool. Garbage is not cool, it sucks!
Saturday, May 01, 2004
I Got In Trouble
It wasn't my fault! Nobody ever told me it was illegal to beat the crap out of garbage bags!
My parents were going to throw away my old aluminum t-ball bat, so I said NO WAY, I can use that thing! So I took it home and I was going to just leave it near my door in case some nut tried to break into my house and I could whack him with it, but then I saw that my neighbors left a whole bunch of garbage bags filled with GARBAGE, JUST OUTSIDE MY DOOR!! I was so angry! I started running as fast as I could toward the garbage bags, swinging my bat over my head like a flag and the next thing I knew banana peels and dirty diapers and half-eaten tacos were flying all over the place, and then cops were wrestling me to the ground. They said I was screaming "GARBAGE! GARBAGE! GARBAGE!" like a lunatic, but I can't remember that too much. They didn't arrest me because the neighbors didn't want to press charges, but they made me pick up all the garbage even though I was barfing all over the place. Oh, and they took my bat.
It wasn't my fault! Nobody ever told me it was illegal to beat the crap out of garbage bags!
My parents were going to throw away my old aluminum t-ball bat, so I said NO WAY, I can use that thing! So I took it home and I was going to just leave it near my door in case some nut tried to break into my house and I could whack him with it, but then I saw that my neighbors left a whole bunch of garbage bags filled with GARBAGE, JUST OUTSIDE MY DOOR!! I was so angry! I started running as fast as I could toward the garbage bags, swinging my bat over my head like a flag and the next thing I knew banana peels and dirty diapers and half-eaten tacos were flying all over the place, and then cops were wrestling me to the ground. They said I was screaming "GARBAGE! GARBAGE! GARBAGE!" like a lunatic, but I can't remember that too much. They didn't arrest me because the neighbors didn't want to press charges, but they made me pick up all the garbage even though I was barfing all over the place. Oh, and they took my bat.
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