Cherry Garcia

So I told Anna I was going to buy a pie, just because I thought it would be a funny thing to say, and it was. "I'm gonna go buy a pie. Do you want a pie?" I wasn't thinking she would say much, because we aren't in the habit of buying pies. I don't believe I have ever bought a pie, in fact. But actually she nodded to indicate that yes, she would like a pie, and I could tell that she meant it. But I was only kidding, I just wanted to say 'pie.'

And so I was in a pretty good mood on my way back from Reckless Records, because I gave them my resume because they are opening a new store downtown and they were nice to me, and I like riding my bike in the rain, especially now that I bought a fender and gritty water doesn't get flung onto my butt anymore, and I was on my way home and I thought, How would it be if I were to actually buy a pie? That I think would be extraordinary. I like doing extraordinary, unexpected things for Anna. It keeps things interesting. So I locked up my bike at the Jewel that was on the way home and went in to get a pie.

The thing is, I really only wanted a French Silk Pie. I think I even specified this at the time of mentioning it to Anna. I don't usually like sweet things. But there must have been a party some time recently, or a holiday during which at some point I sampled and enjoyed a French Silk Pie, because I had a very specific craving for this pie. No other kind of pie interested me, which was unfortunate because they didn't seem to have my pie.

I thought maybe a Coconut Cream Pie would do it, because in fact I at first mistook this for my pie. But I couldn't recall whether Anna liked coconut -- she can be pretty fickle these days. And anyway not many people like coconut; it's one of those things, like hot mustard or tequila or water chestnuts: some people can't get enough of it, but most people stay away.

I kind of deflated somewhere in there. I wasn't going to find an appropriate pie. So I instead grabbed some vine-ripe tomatoes, because we definitely like those, and they don't last long in our house. And then I figured this would be a good opportunity to replace all the Chex Mix I ate most of before she had a chance to have much of any. And while I was at it, I found a half-pint of Cherry Garcia Ice Cream, my favorite ice cream. I haven't bought it the past few times I've visited the grocery store, so this time I guess I deserved it.

But something was missing. After a minute I decided on some tater tots. Who doesn't like tater tots?

At the register I forwent the eXtreme value item of the week, 'yogurt' coated fruit snacks. The cashier was a young and attractive girl of indiscernable ethnicity. When she saw that I was standing there the look on her face said that she thought I was very cute for a split second but realized suddenly that actually I wasn't. She rang up my ice cream first and sent it rolling down to the bagger, a guy with long frizzy hair and acne, who caught my eye with a grin and a nod. "Hey, that's good ice cream, right yo?" "Yeah," I said. I told him I've tried a lot of the flavors but I always went back to this one, which seemed like a dumb thing to say, but he was being friendly so I wanted to be nice. "Yeah, but yo, I mean the brand." It took me a minute to figure out that he meant Ben and Jerry's, and it wasn't until after I paid and he gave me this kind of wink-wink nudge-nudge look and told me to enjoy my Ben and Jerry's that he was a stoner, probably into the Grateful Dead, and had taken one look at my grocery pile- Three tomatoes, a huge bag of Chex Mix, some Ben and Jerry's ice cream, and a bag of frozen tater tots- and he'd assumed that I was either stoned out of my mind or soon would be. So there it is: My palette has not evolved, apparently, in the last ten years; I am still eating like an 18 year old guy just out of his parents house when left to my own devices.

Next time I go to the grocery store by myself I'm going to buy carrots and broccoli, and maybe some hummus. And now that I think about it, every morning this week I've been wishing we had milk for my granola cereal. Hurm.