Bad Kitty

Mister Chillynose was mad at me this morning because I locked him in the bathroom because he keeps eating Mouse's food. He waits until he knows I am engrossed in something and then I hear the tinkling of kibble in the bowl and I turn around to see him eating as fast as he can to get as much in the belly as possible before I catch him. He also eats looking up, which is bizarre because if you think about it most cats look pretty happy when they're on the munch, but not if they have to watch out for daddy who's going to lock him in the dank, cold bathroom. As soon as I get up he runs off with food still in his mouth until he finds a place that's hard enough for me to get to that he can drop it on the floor and eat it properly. Even as I drag him away from it he's still chewing. He is, needless to say, a fatass. I read something for the research paper (that I didn't do that was due today for the class I skipped to write a song, don't tell my girlfriend) on Immanuel Kant about disciplining children, and how for example it's useless to punish a child for lying and reward her for insert good deed here because then the kid will grow up making decisions that are designed to bring in personal reward and avoid punishment as opposed to running her life with dignity and self respect, and that one should instead treat the child with contempt and inform her that people are now no longer going to believe her. This is wise advice, and I will remember it for when I have kids, but it doesn't work on cats because they are too stupid to know the why of things, they just know that certain things make you lock them into the bathroom. Anyway, I felt bad about it sort of but I didn't know what else to do. I let him out after awhile and at first he was really mad at me and kept looking at me really pissed and hiding, but then later when I was laying on the couch reading about Erik Larsen in Punk Planet he came and perched on my chest in front of my magazine and kissed me on the nose with his nose, which in case you didn't know is how cats tell you they really love you. And so then I was looking at him and trying to figure out, if I don't like being hard on him, what the heck can I do? and I decided well how about nothing, because he's a cat, and if any being should have a free pass in life it should be a house cat, even if he also rips up all my furniture and pisses on the floor when I don't let him out and eats bits of fried chicken from the neighbor's dumpster when I do.