Vile Mile Und Waggomac

I gave up after fifteen minutes because no one ever thought to teach me how to clean the dirt out from underneath my toenails, as much as I wanted to wait I thought there would be a bang and that would be the end, all I would be able to think about would be understood if it needed to be. But I couldn't help but see the horse's lips curling upwards into a smile, even though I wasn't really going to give him the carrot. I just rubbed it on the rusty bars until they were wet and there was no more friction and cracked it in half and tossed it into the pen, one end of it plunked right into a pile of manure, that was really funny. And the horse was too stupid to be mad at me, at least that's the impression I got. I don't think those guys on the corner were talking to me when they said vanilla ice cream, I'm pretty sure they were not, but I had the flannel tied under between my breasts you know and my belly was showing, like I wasn't thinking I'd run into anyone just going out to talk to the horse, cause Rick was out of town and I was seriously considering just getting out of there, I'm so sick of every day the only thing there is to do is get into a truck and drive to Walgreens, I mean I know I should be appreciative or whatever, living so close to the mountains, and the river, but that river is really just more like a stream you know and there isn't even any fish in it or nothing, and you can't camp over there because that's where all the guys go down to shoot their guns at like nothing, they just like to hear them bang bang bang I guess. I mean it's really just frightening when you have to hear that all day. And plus the mountains are so pretty and I love it, and I think it really does give me a sense of peace, the kind I never got to have when I was living in the city and there were just sky scrapers and leering guys thinking you just couldn't wait to bend over and take it from them, like they know. BUt after awhile the mountains are so far away it's like they're just this part of the air, you can't touch them and it never gets any better than just a bunch of pretty mountains in the distance, and clouds, even when you climb them you see its really just more dirt and cactuses and rocks and heat, and you still can't touch a cloud.