My Crimson Hexagon

Once upon a time there was an incredibly fat little boy who liked to play with trucks and little plastic army men. Every day the fat little boy would wake up when his mother would be getting ready for her job at the grocery store, sticking pins in her hair and wiping makeup all over her face, and he would get out a bowl of Apple Jacks and make some toast and eat until his mother gave him a kiss on the top of his fat little head and told him "Be good, Fat Little Boy, Mama's gotta go bag some groceries," and then he would drink the pink milk from his cereal bowl and wipe his mouth and get ready to play with his trucks. He had all kinds of different ones: trucks that were supposed to haul garbage, trucks to take his army men to battle, trucks that carried consumer goods and dirt and just about anything that you could think of that would need a truck. He even had a special toy truck that was designed to carry around other toy trucks.
One day he was playing with his trucks outside in the dirt, while his Apple Jacks were still digesting in his gurgling, fat belly, when another fat little boy showed up to play with him. This new fat boy had been watching the first fat little boy playing with his trucks for many days, and now he had finally worked up the courage to come over and introduce himself- because he liked playing in the dirt, but also because the first fat little boy had so many different kinds of trucks that he thought for sure they would have fun playing together.
"Hi," said the new fat boy. "My name is Philip the Woobler. Wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble wooble..."